The start of my story

I was born the younger of twins to a dear lady, who selflessly gave up her rights to us in favour of us having a more secure life with a married couple. My sister and I were adopted into a lovely family. Our parents already had two boys, a 3½ year old of their own, and a 10 month old adopted son, when we came home at 25 days old. My poor mother, can you just imagine having four children under four years old? hehe.

Our life could have been ideal, but for a few things. My parents were part of a church bordering on cultic. In fact, that's a very generous way of putting it. It was an interesting way to grow up. We were not encouraged to have friends outside of our church, not allowed Christmases or Birthdays. We weren't allowed to date boys, play weekend sports or enjoy many of the freedoms that most NZ children take for granted. My parents were encouraged to spare the rod and spoil the child, and life as a part of that church was not ideal.

Having said all of that, my parents were loving generous people who made life a joy for us. We had the security of a strong family bond that so many of my friends didn't enjoy. And we needed it because when I was 3 years old my dear Mother fell ill. She developed pnuemonia, and from that asthma... the condition that plagued her for the rest of her life. When I was 5 years old, she wasn't expected to survive. And by the time we were in our teen years she spent much of her time struggling for her life in hospital, frequently in and out of Intensive Care Units.

We became very used to having a chronically ill Mother. It was our reality. It was heartwrenching at times, seeing her helpless in bed, struggling for breath, hearing her coughing all through each and every night while my Dad slapped her on the back for hours trying to move the crap in her chest... not knowing if she would live or not.

There is so much more to Mother's story than this, and I may write about it later. But I guess the lingering resolve it left me with is that I never ever wanted my children to have a chronically ill mother. I didn't want them to have the same fears, the same sadness, the same responsibilties that I had. And yet this is my children's life.